I keep forgetting to remember to forget All the lies and all the bullish All the reasons that we had to call it quits Pieces to our puzzle that never seemed to fit Started out fast and ended so quick For weeks on end i was so sick, so the next time i start to reminisce Remind me to remember to forget
I think I hold you accountable to a different degree. I know I should be grateful & in a sense I am because I know I should be but when I know you didn’t put any thought into it…just takes that away and it’s you! You know what I like & don’t like. What’s worse is when I have no idea you did that & I go out of my way to get you something I knew you wanted. Maybe it’s just the feelings I hold for you that make me want to get you something I knew you wanted & the lack of feelings you have for me that make you put no thought into something. I have to learn to come to terms with these things and begin to mirror your ways.
Time Does Not Bring Relief: You All Have Lied By Edna St. Vincent Millay
Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year’s bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go,—so with his memory they brim.
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, “There is no memory of him here!”
And so stand stricken, so remembering him.
I had to memorize this poem my senior year of high school for Poetry OutLoud, such a beautiful poem!
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! Yum it really is my favorite holiday always has been, beats Christmas dare I say it.
Anytime any holiday or special nation wide occasion comes around I seriously can’t help but think to myself wow this is going to be the worst day for someone…you know? For example, Valentines day..people,society, whatever hype it all up and then your significant other on that day ends up cheating on you, buying you a candy bar when you bought him a camera..and all this outrageous stuff, that day now is associated with negative feelings.
“When you’re with someone and he really wants to be with you in this way where it’s like you’re the only girl in the world for him, then it’s obvious and everyone feels it. Even people watching you walking down the street feel it. You radiate this kind of happiness that’s infectious, like sunshine. It’s like you light up the whole world just from your own euphoric glow.”—Susane Colasanti, Waiting for You (via stellablu)
Last week I hibernated aka I was depressed ALL WEEK didn’t go to school for a week! -__- not the smartest decision but I just wanted to sleep and watch Big Bang Theory on DVR, I didn’t want to deal with life. When I stress out I don’t deal with it instead I push everything away off my radar where it’s not detected and tumble or stumble since I deactivated my facebook. Like Jay-Z stated “The tension’s too thick for my sober mind to cut through”. Psychologically speaking too much for my id to handle. Today I went to all my classes :) lol & I learned this semester never again will I take on this kind of load academically. Screw that noise, what’s the point of taking tons of classes in upper division if you’re going to get a C in the class? So stupid but I guess I wasn’t thinking about what the work load would be. We live and we learn.
“I’ve always envied people who sleep easily. Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed up in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed.”—City Of Thieves, David Benioff (via songe-creux)
My mom asked my dad last night if you weren’t married & had children where would you be right now
with no hesitation my dad answered dead or in jail
Last night he stayed up until 12 telling us stories about his childhood.
About when one night him and a friend were walking home from a dance and the lights went out and it was pitch dark! & his friend was sharing with him how scared he was to go home alone while his parents were still at the dance and how he saw the devil…they got to my dads door and his friend still had to keep walking to get home.
Long story short the next day he died, but my dad thinks he had already seen this coming hence, why he was scared and talking about seeing the devil the night before. May he rest in peace.